Your flight has been already been delayed four hours, and now you’re just sitting on the runway. You’ve spent the last week at a crap hotel in the middle of nowhere for work, and all you want to do is get home and go to bed. Of course your company put you in a middle seat stuck between two overweight giants! The air vents on the airplane are all shut off, and you’re starting to get a light sweat. Meanwhile, the guy two rows back decides now would be the perfect time to open up his lamb kabob. A LAMB KABOB!!!???? A F’ING LAMB KABOB!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW???!!!!!
(Full disclosure, I freakin love kabobs. I just don’t want to smell it on a 14 hour flight.)
I wish I can say I’m writing this article as a joke, but unfortunately every single reader has probably experienced this one way or another.
Don’t be a jerk while flying. Here is a short list (and not a full list) of MotoMoto rules to follow on your next flight.
1: I don’t care how big you are, put down the armrests!
I don’t want to sound like a jerk, but there isn’t any way to say this without sounding like one. If you are so big that you can’t fit in one seat, you really should start buying two seats.Not to mention if you’re that big, you probably should loose weight for health reasons….just sayin.
Assuming you’re not 400 lbs (where you physically can’t put them down), put down the arm rests!!!
As someone who is also a bigger guy, we are all uncomfortable here and I don’t want your hip rubbing against my leg the entire time. No one wants to sit next to someone where your skin is constantly touching. It’s gross!
2: Don’t eat stinky food on the plane
Turkey sandwich…no problem. Shrimp fajitas…c’mon, you know better. If you’re about to eat something that you don’t want to smell like for the next 5 hours, it’s probably not a good idea to eat it on the flight.
You might think it doesn’t smell, but everyone else on the flight is smelling this.
3: Get headphones that don’t blast your music to everyone else
Maybe I’m getting too old and cranky, but the last thing I want to do after I finally get to my seat is having to listen to the 14 yr old girl next to me blasting Bieber (BTW if you haven’t seen The Roast of Justin Bieber, you need to buy it immediately).
4: If you see a tiny, old lady struggling to put up her luggage, for the love of god, help her put it in the overhead bin!!!
Pretty basic stuff here, but I’m still amazed at the lack courtesy from other passengers. How would you feel if your grandma was lugging around a huge suitcase, and no one came to help her??? That’s someone’s grandmother! Help that lady!
5. If you’re going to fall asleep, pull down the shades.
This wasn’t my biggest pet peeve, but still deserved a spot on this list. I can sleep through almost anything. Izumi cannot. When you’re up in the air and it’s 6AM, its really bright outside (and will prevent people from sleeping). Pull down the shades!
6. There is an order to de-planning…wait your turn.
Again, basic stuff here. Typically, you wait for everyone in the row in front of you to de-plane before you go. You don’t just run up and try to cut everyone to get off the plane faster.
I don’t want to name any countries…but this country (in Asia, known for dim sum, rhymes with “shina”) tends to be pretty bad at “waiting your turn.” People hop out of their seats and start heading toward the front of the plane. HORRIBLE!!!
Also, if you had to place your carry on bag 5 rows back because there wasn’t enough overhead space, WAIT UNTIL THERE IS AN OPENING OR WAIT UNTIL EVERYONE IS OFF! Don’t block the walkway because you’re waiting for 5 people to pass your bag up.
Anyways just wanted to share my thoughts. What are some of your bad flying experiences?